Ask: How to Relate to Anyone.

I’m best known for writing investment books (I wrote the Smartest series), so what prompted the shift into the self-help genre?

Good question.

It was largely to help myself.

I used to believe what I was saying was more important than what I was hearing. Instead of really listening, I was usually waiting for the other person to stop talking.  My interactions were like two billiard balls bouncing off each other.

Then I did some research. What I found was stunning.

When we empower others to talk about themselves, the brain activity in those people is similar to when they’re engaged in their most pleasurable activities. Talking about yourself releases certain hormones that make you feel good. Doing so causes you to project traits of likeability and trustworthiness onto the person who encourages you to talk.

In my own life, implementing my findings has increased my level of personal happiness and deepened my relationships. People project the nicest qualities onto me, like kindness, thoughtfulness and insight, whenever I encourage them to talk about themselves. The next logical step in my journey was to share that research with you.

That’s why I wrote Ask.