The coronavirus is bad enough, but requiring Americans to stay at home has caused a distressing increase in marital conflict and even domestic violence.
It’s a perfect storm for many couples. Fear of being infected, coupled with job losses and financial concerns, which may include not being able to pay the rent or the mortgage, can take a terrible toll.
While even healthy relationships could buckle under the strain, what about those that were on the brink before the pandemic? These relationships are stuck in place, with the option of one person leaving essentially foreclosed.
If your relationship is starting to feel the pressure, here are some tips to turn conflict into collaboration.
Listen
Let the other person express their views without interruption. Focus intensely on what they’re saying. Don’t try to formulate your response while they’re speaking. Your goal is to really understand their perspective.
Ask Questions
Resist the temptation to respond with your point of view. Instead, ask questions. The point of your questions should be to better understand what they said. Questions like: What did you mean when you said ——-? will demonstrate concern and build trust.
Resolve
Find a resolution and move on. Issues are rarely one-sided. Both parties often bear some responsibility for the disagreement.
Acknowledge your role in contributing to the problem. Then look for common ground.
One way to get there is to ask this question: What are your thoughts on resolving this issue? Upon hearing the answer, ask: Can we agree that…?
It’s hard to stay angry with someone who is sincerely listening.
That’s the way to turn conflict into collaboration.
Update on Ask
We’re still shooting for an October 1, 2020 launch. In the interim, thanks to all of you who have expressed an interest in co-branding the book and inserting a message bound into the front of it.
Bulk orders are starting to come in. You can place them by filling in this form or just e-mail me with the number of books you want (minimum order is 50) and the address where you want them shipped. Our team will get back to you and coordinate customization details. We will invoice you for payment.
One advisor told me Ask made such an impact on him he will be giving copies to prospects, clients and especially centers of influence. He said: I can’t think of a better way to keep my name in front of COI’s than to give them a book with our logo on the cover that will transform their lives.
Very gratifying.
A great review
Kirkus Reviews is the gold standard for book reviews in the U.S. I was thrilled to receive a glowing review for Ask. You can read the entire review here.
Here are some extracts:
… this book is well constructed and elegantly written in an informal style; the paragraphs are blissfully brief, and relevant examples abound.
…entertaining, easy-to-read…
…Solin’s deceptively simple premise is solid…
Smart, succinct, and highly engaging.
My hope is that Ask will transform the lives of all who read it.
I’m very grateful for your support.